Friday, April 13, 2012

Body Image Nirvana, the constant quest

I love myself so much and can't wait to look into the mirror each morning. I thank my body for being so amazing and living with me each day, working hard, supporting me no matter what. AND THEN I WOKE UP. Does anyone out there really feel that way? Is it even possible to be kind to our bodies every day, every second of the day? My guess is that it might always take a level of effort to quiet the negative thoughts when they creep in but I have to believe if I put the intention out there, I can achieve that level of body image nirvana.

I have already come so far in my journey. I could be so cruel within my own mind, even when I was completely beautiful. (Even typing that I used to be completely beautiful makes me cringe for a second but I will carry on, part of the journey) Knowing how far I have come gives me faith that continuing to search for all the love I can find for myself will bring me to a more loving place till the end of time. I want to be 100 years old and loving the hell out of myself. I sometimes daydream of how easy it will be to let all the shit go when I am older than dirt, wrinkled-so the pressure of being beautiful is gone, eating all the desert I can handle because who cares, I am an old lady?! How demented and twisted is that?! I am definitely not going to wait till my old wrinkly, cute granny years to find my self. I know it starts today so whenever I find myself being completely judgemental I ask myself a few questions to snap myself out of it:

What would you say to Kelly (my bff) if she was thinking these things about herself? The answer here is always the same. I would tell her she was nuts and that she is gorgeous and fantastic and AMAZING!!!

What does Chad (hubs) think of you? He is constantly telling me I am beautiful (cringe again) and he loves me so much. Why am I being so mean to myself when I am married to an amazing man who thinks I am gorgeous?

What would I do if I heard my lil sis picking on herself? This one REALLY gets me. I love my sister so much and I never want her to struggle with judging how she looks. She is completely and totally gorgeous and I want her to know that every day all day. I want her to step into her power and own that hot bod. Feel confident and free. Women in this world rarely do that as much as they should.

When I think about the women in my life I honestly can't think of a single woman who does not pick on themselves regarding their looks. Not one. How is that possible?! They are all so beautiful in different ways. Why in the world are they not celebrating that every damn day? I would love to blame the media, tv, magazines, all of the evil tools out there that don't help the case. But really.....we are the one's picking up the mags. We are the one's who watch the tv shows that lead to self doubt. We are the one's comparing ourselves, deciding the airbrushed reality star is who we should look like. How about we all stop that today? I am not kidding. Let's make it simple. It might be a conscious effort everyday to let the negative thoughts go but let's start with today. One day at a time. Wake up and look ourselves in the mirror, tell ourselves we are gorgeous. I am going to stop typing to go to the mirror right now.

***Looking in the mirror, saying sweet nothings***

Okay, that was actually quite fantastic. Even if you may not believe the words now, keep saying them. You never know when your perspective will change. Let's all be in charge of finding as much love for our bodies as we can. This has to start now. Not 10lbs. from now. Not when you get to your goal weight. Of coarse you can still want to lose a few pounds but why not start loving your body while you are on your journey, even if you want to lose 100 lbs?

What sparked this intense rant? I had an amazing workout with a room full of super hot, fun women last night. There were three Instructors in that class and afterwards we were discussing how we feel in our bodies. I was SHOCKED to hear the other ladies describe what they were focusing on during class. It was nothing major but there was some negative in there. I was watching them in class thinking I wanted to BE them. I was in the same boat, staring myself down, going through a mix of thoughts like- "dang, my guns look good-to-man, I would look so much better if I could just shed a layer of fat- to- Man, look at HER, she is doing this so much better than I am." My brain was all over the place and the other ladies had the same experience. We all confirmed that we thought the others were crazy. They had the same game playing in their brain. It was like a science experiment into the female brain. The conclusion-every single woman I know is way too hard on themselves, myself included.

Deep breath.

The good news is, we are all in charge of this. Let's keep truckin, keep finding the love, keep surrounding ourselves with people who support us. I am so proud of how far I have come in my journey and it will never stop. Today I am going to be kind to me. When I look in the mirror I am going to smile and say thank you. When I pick up my heavier than hell son and throw him around, I am going to be proud of my strength. When I hear a negative thought I am going to observe it and quickly let it go. Small steps matter. Let's support eachother, girls. Get our power back.

There is so much to this message but for now, I want to focus here. I hope that being open and honest about this helps someone else realize they are not alone in their struggles. Whether you feel you have far to go or are on your path, I appreciate you. I support you. Now go look in the mirror and say something amazing! If you are ready for the next step, START BELIEVING IT!!!!


  1. I definitely can relate to thinking about that one layer of fat..
    Great way to start the day :)
    thanks casey!

  2. Ugh. I am an EXPERT at negative self-talk. This is a timely post b/c today's been especially bad - been reminding myself that I'm just tired out, that I really have NOT changed in the last 24 hours (I was all fired up yesterday, awesome workout and I pushed myself and did a great job). I struggle with this every single day, though, and it's good to know that most others do, too. Thanks for this post, Casey!

  3. Seeing you two gorgeous ladies say you can relate just validates female insanity. haha. I mean that in the best way possible. You are both people who have amazing bodies and again I am shocked to hear you struggle with this too. I should not be shocked but I really wish we could all see ourselvs in the eyes of others. It would be so much kinder. I have been thinking about this alot today and I appreciate you ladies commenting and relating to the blog. Sarah, the 24 hour comment made me laugh because I do that too! One day I am SHERA and the next I am Porky Patty (in my head of corse). It has so much to do with eating intuitively. When I am mindful I want to eat clean, listening to what would feel right, treating my body with kindness by not over eating. When I am not, I eat crap and the JUDGE JUDY in my head is all over it. Thanks ladies.