I am still comparing Seattle to Hilo, Hawaii. Hilo is still winning my heart but Seattle makes sense. Did I really go to a magical island to make sense? I will leave that one hanging........
I am happy here. Really, I am.
My job is great.
My lil apartment is great.
Family is great.
Our money is WAY better than Hawaii.
Fitness is great.
Things are good. They are smooth.
There is one thing that is on my mind a lot lately.
I think I have finally really started to see the thing that has been confusing me.
It is the mindset around "fitness" on the mainland. It is wack. Just straight up fucking wack.
I was all about the wack attack many times and I didn't even see anything wrong with it before I left.
Hawaii..........you beautiful, green, watery magical, eye opening fairy Godmother.
What I learned and can see differently now is that in Hilo, no one hated their body like they do here. At least it didn't seem like it to me. It was not as normal for every woman I met to talk about diets, or focused clean eating or wanting to lose 5 pounds or being just straight up preoccupied with their body, their fitness or their fitness goals.
Here, it is such a thing. If you are focused on fitness that is supposed to mean at least some sort of restraint, restriction, going out of your comfort zone, putting in the work, being on some crazy "eating plan" or counting something or just eating super clean so you can be a freak ninja or take 3 classes a day and then..........oh man. I can't even make any more shit up, my head is spinning.
I did not see it the same before I moved to Hawaii.
I saw it as normal. As healthy. As working hard.
I am a bit confused with the messages I see in the world around me and the way my heart feels.
My heart and definitely my body want to enjoy exercise and food. I have been listening to my body and not always going out of my comfort zone. Some days I don't kick my ass and I go on a long ass walk. Some days I do and it feels right. I don't worry about "counting that" in my imaginary health checklist. I take the time to stretch or enjoy a yoga class. Some days I don't do anything at all. Last week it was three whole days I didn't do anything at all. What a crazy rebellious act. Not really. People are just fucking crazy. It is not their fault. They are just trying to be happy. To be healthy. They are doing what their Trainer said or what they saw on Instagram. It's not the Trainers fault or the person on Instagram. They are just doing what they were taught. I want to say you can change the rules. It can feel good. You are not lazy.
Today a friend asked me to review the meal plan she made for the week. She is about 120lbs and 5'7, very slender. She wants to lose 5 lbs. of corse. The meal plan was all about macros and some fake foods to cut calories and it was pretty intense. I was a bit hesitant to answer her because what I have found is people don't want to take any advise that is not punishing. They usually don't believe me that it can feel good. I suggested she ditch the plan and just eat real foods when she was hungry. Lots of veggies, protein, carbs. I mentioned consistency and finding things she enjoys. AND, I said she did not need to lose 5 lbs. I suggested lifting some weights and asked what she enjoys as far as movement. She laughed at my crazy advice and said she was going to try her meal plan and focus on pretty intense workouts.
I was very interested in her response. Do you see what I am saying? Women are terrified of being fully comfortable with themselves. I still struggle with it and I have done alot of work to accept every wrinkle, roll, muscle, part. I still have to talk myself into love. Being loving to myself. I wanted to write about this just to get this idea out there. I still love to push myself and work hard and focus on health but it is kinder. I am desperately trying to hold onto some aloha. I want to get the message out there that it is okay. You are okay. Your body and your looks will not make your life better. Your life can be so much more than JUST that.