Friday, April 5, 2013

Almost 35

My 35th birthday is quickly approaching and it is trippin me out.  I can remember when I used to think being over 30 was ancient.  I am very excited to graduate to 35 and feel I have learned so much in the last year.  SO MUCH.  There have been chapters in my life such as 0-10, 10-15, 15-18, 18-27, 27-30, 30 to present.  I can group my own years of age like chapters of a book based on how much I have changed and grown during those times. 
It is hard to even explain what exactly I have learned over the years but the underlying theme is, I continue to learn to love more and feel anything else, less.  This includes myself, situations, people, experiences.  It all comes back to love and looking for the ability to be all up in that love.
I have seen my fitness and health goals take on a more loving vibe.  I continue to be kinder to myself, to treat myself with respect and to workout and eat in a way that feels good.  This is not perfect.
My last post was about my goal of being 18% body fat before my recent trip to Hawaii.  I have been lifting heavy weights 2-3x a week and doing interval cardio training 3 days a week.  I didn't really change my nutrition dramatically but I did get rid of some bad habits.  Bad is such a strong word, maybe we should call them "not so good" habits.  I started drinking my coffee black and went from about 4 cups a day to only 2 in the morning.  I stopped buying dark chocolate so I cut myself off from my "after dinner chocolate" habit.  I started eating way more protein and I stopped eating bread.  None of this was all that tough but after a week it definably got easier and easier.  After about a month I lost 2 lbs. on the scale and 1.5% body fat!  That is a big deal for me and I feel absolutely fabulous at 20%.
I have decided I feel great.  I keep catching myself wanting to be smaller, thinner, stronger, over and over and over.  I have decided at almost 35, that my goal for my life going forward is to enjoy my health.  20% is where I want to be today, I don't feel the need to get to 18%.  20% feels good and I am happy here.  I am not the smallest, buffest, baddest assest Trainer out there, BUT, I am the baddest ass version of Casey Phillips out there and I like that.  I want to own that, to inspire other women to look at themselves and get to that point where they feel the same.  Not perfect.  Not even necessarily 20%, but that we all have that place where we feel good and look good and it doesn't have to be dreamy, or someone else's ideal body.  It is ours.  WE DECIDE.  Almost every woman I know wants to be  atleast 10 lbs. lighter.  So many women struggle with self confidence in their bodies and we can all be so damn hard on ourselves.  I refuse to do this any longer.
I met a woman the other day who is in her 70's and we were discussing fitness.  She was so hard on herself, she was putting herself down, feeling insecure and this woman was so beautiful.  She was fun, nice, smart, caring, kind and it honestly pissed me off at the world that a woman like this isn't able to see her beauty and she might not get to appreciate it her entire life.  I realize I need to take accountability for this now while I am a young 35 year old.  I am not going to wake up someday when I am 70 and automatically feel awesome.  I have to do the work now to make that happen.  The work is complimenting myself, being proud of how I look, living and moving like a healthy person, letting go of negative thoughts as soon as possible.  One day at a time I will be kind to Casey.  She is pretty cool and she deserves to enjoy it.  Come on, Case!!!


  1. yes!!! Self Love is the path to all the goodies in the world. And for each of us it's so different, and defined uniquely. Way to model the way to that place, by being real and honest-and vulnerable for all of us out here. Rockin' it like a star, sister!

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