Let me start by saying we did not bring Dutch. Kids were allowed, in fact they were encouraged, which was so awesome. We were planning to bring him until the last minute when Chad's mom wanted to have him over night. She is crazy and amazing enough to want both Dutch and his cousin (also 2) over at the same time. Although I wondered how she was going to make this happen and if the kids would get any sleep at all, I agreed. Sometimes I need to let him have an experience on his own and trust that it will all work out. It is so good for Chad and I to get a break when we can and this wedding was perfect for that.
The venue was gorgeous and the bride is someone who is very special to me. She may not even know that because we don't hang out all too often. We used to work for the same company and our kids were in daycare together. Finding another mom to confide in, to text about stuff like big boy beds, to just have as someone who "gets" you as a mom, that is so special. Tracey, the bride, is amazing because she is one of the nicest and most caring people I have ever encountered. I am not just saying this. It is rare to meet someone who instantly wants the good for every person they meet. Tracey is always thinking of others first whether its the barista at Starbucks, her son, her friends or the kid who is biting our kids at daycare. She is the very definition of KIND. Of coarse she chose a very intimate gathering for her ceremony and she had a way of making you feel like if you were there, you mattered to her. It felt like such an honor and I teared up quite a bit last night just truly feeling the love in the room. It was BIG and GOOD.
Tracey's son was in the wedding, pillow pet, binky and all. It was so awesome to see him share in the ceremony and party and to really watch her and her husband love BIGGER with him in the room. A few times during the night, I wished Dutch was there and not at his grandma's. I DID high five Chad during the ceremony, when I heard and watched all of the little kid's losing their minds trying to be quiet. I know he would have had a blast and I know Chad and I would have loved having him there, but it also felt really good to just enjoy the night-off duty (let's be real, you are never off duty, EVER, but sometimes breaks count)
Chad and I were having such a great night. Chad hit it off with some man named Bob who looked kind of like Santa. We were sitting next to him during the ceremony, he actually gave me a tissue when I started bawling during Tracey's vows. He ended up at our table and Chad and Bob were BFF. I loved it.
Tracey's mom gave such a loving and heartfelt speech. This speech is really what changed my perspective and I think the only way I could HEAR IT the way I did, is in this circumstance. There was a moment she told Tracey and Bret that they needed to enjoy each and every day. She said people get into the habit of thinking life will get better after __________. Maybe life will get better after potty training, after school starts, after you win the lotto, after the vacation, after you lose the weight. She said life is NOW. She said this was one of the happiest nights of her life and as she said it, you could really feel how this night came so much quicker than she could have imagined.
This reminder really got to me because I find myself, even if its in the back of my mind, doing the whole- I can't wait until after _____. I know about staying present, I know life is happening now, I have heard this message lot's of other places and I say it in my classes all the time. Something about THIS time was different. It sunk in. I got it.
Each day means something special and I am going to do everything I can to cherish my life. I know I may forget this from time to time but I know those beautiful reminders are sprinkled throughout our days. If I look for them, they will help guide me. I look back at pictures of Dutch as a tiny baby and I miss his little body. I miss how he felt in my arms as a bambino. It seems like the blink of an eye before he was walking, then running, now running away from me at times. I was terrified of becoming a mom, that so much of that beautiful baby stage has gone way too quickly. All the while allot of me was wishing it would hurry up and pass. I appreciate all of this and all I can do now is move forward with all of these lessons, all of this perspective.
Look for the messages.
Be open to receive them.
Love BIG.
The present is a gift.
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