Comparison-It's a Killer

I found an old blog post that I wrote almost a year ago.  It made me laugh and not laugh because I feel like I still struggle with the same issue.  I actually made myself feel better by finding and reading the old post.  I am proud of the me who wrote so confidently and it made me remember how good that feels. I thought I would share this ole post in case anyone else needed the same reminder.  Let's love ourselves and accomplish whatever goals we desire.  I kept saying in class this week that power really comes from vulnerability.  I truly believe that and that is part of the reason I write so candidly.  Spilling my guts to the world can sometimes give me my power back. 

So here it is-
Comparrison. Is it ever really a good thing? I am game for friendly competition when it motivates me or lights a fire under my ass in a good way. Lately though, I have been comparing my own body to other bodies. Is this needed? No. It seems to happen without my control. The day starts out normal, wake up, feel good, proud of how sore I am from my workouts, eat a healthy breakfast, head out of the house-ready to feel awesome. Then I see some chick with lean muscles, a nice tan, probably a six pack somewhere and a little piece of me freaks out. I start to pick apart my own body, analyze my body fat percentage, worry that I eat too much, wonder how long it would take me to look like them, exactly. Does this sound crazy? It should, because although I am thinking these things, at the same time, I know perfectly well that these thoughts are totally bullshit crazy. Its like I cant help it, the thoughts start to snowball and my confidence takes a backseat for atleast a few minutes. I have really been paying attention to when this happens and focusing on talking myself back into reality. I owe it to myself to let these negative thoughts go. I guess its all just fear. Fear of what? Not really sure, I guess being totally and completey comfortable with who I am. Can I live in that comfort? I really think I can. It is going to take some effort to send love to myself whenever I feel doubt. Send love and appreciation to all the hard bodies out there that I start to envy. My son Dutch is a constant reminder to get real. My body made him, for the love of GOD. I need and want to radiate self love in his honor. I notice when I do feel good about myself and value who I am no matter what that is, I feel empowered. When I love me, no matter what is going on with someone else, I remain happy. I think its wierd that the natural tendency for women is to be so self punishing, even if its a small thought. I work with some amazing teenage girls and it reminds me so much of the struggles I had when I was in my teens. Self love was pretty much non existant from the age of 16-26 for me. That is ten years of negative thinking to recalibrate and it is defnately feeling like a whole new view on life. I think all women struggle with insecurities. How can they not when everywhere they look are supermodels, reality tv stars, magazines and diet pills. I want every woman to realize they are beautiful, good enough and its okay if there are other people out there that have the hot looks. There is enough beauty, love and happiness to go around. I want to remind myself to admire other women and remain confident no matter who is around me. No matter who you are, you are good enough. Always. High five sisters.